Written by Tiffani Dhooge
Let’s stop pretending we didn’t see it coming.
The slammed door.
The overdramatic sigh.
The full-body “you’re ruining my life” meltdown.
And yet….we act surprised. Like our teenagers are supposed to thank us for setting boundaries around the one thing they’re most addicted to.
We’re not parenting a generation that casually checks their phone. We’re parenting kids who are wired into it—emotionally, socially, and biochemically. When we try to pull them back, even a little, it feels like we’re taking away oxygen.
So YES, there’s going to be pushback.
There should be pushback.
As Dr. Julie Radlauer said in this week’s episode: “I’m not going to level up just because you do.”
Let that sink in.
You don’t have to match their meltdown.
You don’t have to raise your voice just because they raised theirs.
You don’t have to take it personally.
This is the job: holding the line while their emotions swing like a wrecking ball.
You walk in knowing it’s going to suck and you set the boundary anyway.
Because leadership isn’t about making everyone happy. It’s about doing what’s right, even when it’s hard—ESPECIALLY when it’s hard.
So the next time your teenager flips out because you dared to say “no phone after 9,” remember this: their reaction doesn’t mean you failed.
Let them yell.
Let them roll their eyes.
Let them feel it.
And then? STAND YOUR GROUND.
How to Hold the Line (Without Losing Your Mind)
1. Expect the resistance.
Go in grounded, not aggressive.
Remind yourself: This will be hard. That doesn’t mean I should stop.
2. Don’t match their energy.
Their freak-out doesn’t require one from you.
Breathe. Speak clearly. If you need a break, take one. But don’t get dragged into their emotional storm.
3. Give them space—without backing down.
Let them be mad. Let them feel what they feel.
Say: “I get that you’re upset. You’re allowed to be. But the boundary stays.”
Then step away if you need to. That’s not giving in. That’s modeling regulation and emotional maturity.
4. Make it collaborative, not punitive.
Use the Social Media Checkup Assessment together.
Compare answers. Talk it out. When they feel heard—even if they don’t like the outcome—they’re way less likely to see you as the enemy.
5. Remind them (and yourself): This isn’t about control.
It’s about safety. Balance. Mental health.
This isn’t just about their phone habits. It’s about how they learn to tolerate discomfort, manage impulse, and build resilience in the real world. Life doesn’t hand out free passes for emotional regulation. They have to practice it somewhere—and it starts here.
And the next time they scream, “You’re the worst parent ever!”
SMILE and think: Actually, I might be the best.
